Letter to Miss Edna:
“I’m Engaged… But I Think He’s in Love with My Sister”
Dear Miss Edna,
I never imagined I’d write one of these letters, but I’m at the end of my rope and need your honest, no-nonsense advice. I’m Engaged… But I Think He’s in Love with My Sister
I’m 27, and I’ve been with my fiancé, Ben, for almost three years. We got engaged six months ago, and from the outside, everything looks perfect—he’s charming, driven, and says all the right things. But something just doesn’t feel right… and it all centers around my sister, Alyssa.
The Sister Everyone Loves
Alyssa is 25, bubbly, stunning, and everyone loves her. I’ve always joked that she lights up a room the way I just… enter one. But lately, it’s not funny anymore.
Because Ben lights up too—every single time she walks in.
The Red Flags Started Small
Miss Edna, it started off small.
- He’d laugh a little louder at her jokes than mine.
- He remembered her coffee order without ever asking.
- He once “accidentally” called me her name during a conversation.
I laughed it off at the time, but I haven’t forgotten it.
Why Isn’t He Sitting Next to Me?
At family dinners, he sits next to her—even when there’s a seat next to me.
He asks her questions, nods like she’s preaching the gospel, and once told her, “You’re just so easy to talk to.”
The man I’m supposed to marry, who sometimes forgets to reply to my texts, hangs on her every word like it’s scripture.
The Porch Incident I Can’t Shake
I thought maybe I was just being insecure, but it keeps piling up.
We hosted a party last month, and I caught them out on the porch talking… alone… in the dark… laughing like it was a rom-com.
When I came out, the vibe shifted immediately.
I asked Ben about it later, and he said I was being paranoid and should “trust him.”
But when I asked Alyssa, she just smiled and said, “You’re lucky, he really listens.”
That shook me.
It’s Not Just in Person
He also follows all her social media accounts (more than he does mine), and he’s commented under her posts with emojis that, frankly, don’t belong in any future brother-in-law’s vocabulary.
He Flipped the Blame
When I finally confronted him about it, he got defensive and said I was creating problems that didn’t exist.
That I’m just jealous of my sister and always have been.
That hurt. Because yes, maybe I’ve felt a little overlooked compared to her at times, but this isn’t a me thing.
I know what I’m seeing.
I Love Him… I Think?
Now I don’t know what to do.
I love him… or maybe I love who I thought he was.
The wedding is scheduled for six months from now:
- Deposits are paid
- My dress is picked out
- Our families are excited
I feel like if I back out, I’ll look crazy or insecure or jealous. But staying in feels like I’m ignoring red flags flapping like laundry in a hurricane.
Am I Marrying the Wrong Man?
Miss Edna… am I losing my mind?
Or worse… am I about to marry a man who wishes he’d proposed to my sister?
Sincerely,
Seeing Clearly Too Late?
💣 Miss Edna’s Response
Oh, honey. Sit down. Unzip that dress, kick off those bridal heels, and grab yourself a slice of reality pie—because I’ve got news for you.
You’re not insecure.
You’re not paranoid.
You’re not imagining things.
You’re finally waking up to what your gut has been screaming for a very long time: something ain’t right with this picture.
✋ He Is Not Just Being Friendly
Men don’t “accidentally” call their fiancée by another woman’s name unless that name is dancing around in their brain like a headliner at a Vegas revue.
They don’t remember another woman’s coffee order, hang on her every word, and comment on her selfies like a high schooler with a crush… unless there’s something brewing.
And sweetheart, I don’t care how many deposits you’ve paid—if your man is emotionally tied to your sister, the price of canceling a venue is cheaper than the cost of a broken heart and a toxic marriage.
🚩 Red Flags Aren’t Decorations
You mentioned “red flags flapping like laundry in a hurricane.”
Well, bless your poetic little heart, because that’s exactly what they are.
And darling—you are not the laundromat.
If you have to keep convincing yourself that you’re the one imagining things, ask yourself this:
Would you be okay if he was this way with another woman who wasn’t your sister?
If the answer is no, then the problem isn’t just “he’s close with your family”—the problem is he’s emotionally entangled in a way that is inappropriate, unspoken, and dangerous.
🧠 The Truth Bomb: You Deserve More Than a Man Who Settled for You
I’m gonna say this gently but plainly:
If your gut tells you he’s in love with your sister, it’s because your gut is smarter than your heart right now.
And you don’t marry a man hoping his heart catches up to the vows. You marry a man because his heart is already there.
🙏 A Word About Grace (But Not Delusion)
I know this hurts.
I know you’re scared.
But hear me, child: there is no shame in walking away from what could’ve become a life sentence of wondering if you’re enough.
You don’t want a husband who spends your whole marriage making you feel like the “safe choice” instead of the “only choice.”
And I promise you, God is not asking you to throw yourself under a bus just because the invitations are already printed. In fact, sometimes He whispers, and other times—like now—He flashes giant blinking signs like:
🚨 “NOT THIS MAN.” 🚨
💡 Final Thought: Your Future Deserves a Better Foundation
Marriages built on doubt and denial collapse faster than a folding chair at a family reunion.
So listen to your instincts.
Call off the wedding.
Reclaim your peace.
And thank the Lord you saw this before you had joint taxes and a shared mortgage.
You are not weak for walking away.
You’re wise.
— Miss Edna, who’d rather be single and sane than married and miserable.