Dear Miss Edna,
I need advice because my husband has completely changed since we got married. Before, he used to take me on dates, bring me little gifts, and be so affectionate. Now? All he does is work all day, come home tired, and expect me to do things like clean the house and cook for him.
We bought a home last year—it was my dream home, and I just knew it would make our lives perfect! He wanted to wait a few years, but I convinced him. Now he acts like all he cares about is paying the bills. When I tell him I’m busy during the day and can’t always get to housework, he gets upset. I mean, I am busy—I work out to stay in shape for him, I keep up with my friends, I even take time for self-care at the spa! But instead of appreciating that, he complains when I tell him to do his own laundry.
My parents had such a great marriage—my mom always put effort into herself, and my dad adored her for it. I don’t understand why my husband doesn’t see things the same way. I feel like I deserve more effort from him, like he used to give me. Am I asking too much?
Sincerely,
Confused and Undervalued
Miss Edna’s Response:
Oh, honey. Sit down. No, really. Find a nice, comfortable seat, because you’re not gonna like this one bit.
I hate to be the one to break it to you, but marriage isn’t a subscription box where you get surprises delivered every month without lifting a finger. You wanted the house, the lifestyle, the pampering, the social life, and now you’re confused about why your husband doesn’t have the energy to play Prince Charming every night?
Let’s break this down, sweetheart:
🛑 Your husband works all day to fund the life YOU insisted on.
That house you just had to have? Someone’s gotta pay for it. And that someone isn’t you.
🛑 You don’t work, but you’re “too busy” to clean?
You’re busy doing what, exactly? “Maintaining yourself” isn’t a full-time job unless you’re literally a supermodel, and last I checked, none of them are sitting in my inbox crying about folding laundry.
🛑 Your mother was adored for her efforts?
Yes, because—brace yourself—your mother probably contributed to the household. Keeping a home running is actual work, and she probably understood that being in a marriage means being a partner, not a pampered houseplant.
Your husband doesn’t take you out anymore because he is exhausted. He’s not bringing home little gifts because he’s too busy bringing home the paycheck that keeps you in spas and brunch dates.
You didn’t marry a butler, you married a man. And that man deserves a wife, not a financially dependent roommate who pouts when reality slaps her in the face.
So here’s my advice:
📌 Start acting like a wife, not a guest in his house.
📌 Try gratitude instead of entitlement.
📌 Realize that love isn’t built on vacations and shopping trips—it’s built on partnership and sacrifice.
Otherwise, darling, the only thing you’ll be maintaining is your divorce lawyer’s bank account.