Dear Miss Edna,
I need your wisdom because my family is furious with me, and I don’t understand why.
I recently got engaged to a man I love deeply. He is kind, intelligent, and treats me well. But there’s one issue my family can’t seem to get past—he doesn’t share our faith. I was raised Christian, but he follows a different religion. My family insists this is a huge problem, but I don’t see why.
Love Conquers All, Right?
Miss Edna, isn’t love supposed to overcome differences? I thought marriage was about respect, compromise, and understanding, not about having identical beliefs. We’ve talked about it, and he says he fully supports me practicing my faith, even if he doesn’t share it. He’s never tried to stop me from going to church, and he even asks me questions sometimes. Isn’t that enough?
We’ve had some discussions about what faith would look like in our home, and while we don’t have all the answers, I don’t see why that’s a reason to throw away a perfectly good relationship.
My Parents Just Won’t Let It Go
Ever since we announced our engagement, my parents have been relentless. They keep telling me I’m making a mistake. My mother cries about how my “future children will be confused,” and my father keeps quoting Bible verses at me. They act like I’m throwing my entire life away.
It’s not just my parents, either. My sister keeps pulling me aside to remind me how much our faith shaped our childhood, saying things like, “How are you going to build a marriage when you don’t even agree on something as big as God?” She even brought up a family friend who married outside the faith, and they later divorced because their beliefs were too different. But that was their relationship—not mine.
What’s the Big Deal About Raising Kids?
They keep asking things like:
- How will you raise your children? (Uh, with love?)
- What if he doesn’t want you taking them to church? (He already said he wouldn’t mind!)
- What happens when your beliefs clash on big life decisions? (We’ll figure it out like every other couple!)
I get that faith is important, but do they really think love isn’t strong enough to bridge differences? Plenty of couples make interfaith marriages work.
I Thought They’d Be Happy for Me
Instead of celebrating our engagement, my family is making me miserable. My fiancé and I love each other, we communicate well, and we respect each other’s differences. So why is this such a big deal? Can’t they just be happy for me?
Miss Edna, am I missing something? Or are they overreacting?
— Confused but in Love
Miss Edna’s Response
Oh, sweetheart. Pour yourself a cup of strong coffee and take a deep breath. Because I have a feeling this is going to ruffle your feathers a bit.
“I Was Raised Christian.” … And?
Let’s start with the part of your letter that leapt off the page and smacked me right in the forehead: “I was raised Christian.” Honey, that’s nice. But let me ask you something—do you know what it actually means to BE a Christian? Because being raised in church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
The Bible doesn’t say, “Your parents were Christians, so you’re all set.” No, sugarplum. It says:
“Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” — 2 Timothy 2:15
That means you need to study the Word for yourself—not just rely on childhood Sunday school memories—to understand what God actually says about marriage, relationships, and the kind of foundation you’re supposed to be building your life on.
God’s Warnings Are Not Suggestions
Now, I know you love this man, and that’s sweet. But darling, **love is not a magic glue stick** that can patch over every crack. It’s a wonderful thing, but it does not erase **God’s clear instructions** about faith and marriage.
**Let’s get this straight: God did not give us commandments just for the fun of it.** He gave them to us for our protection, because He knows things we don’t. Much like a loving parent tells a child **not** to play in traffic, God tells us:
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” — 2 Corinthians 6:14
Now, before you come back at me with, “But Miss Edna, he’s not against my faith! He respects it!”—let me stop you right there.
Right Now, He’s ‘Fine With It’… But What About Later?
Let’s play a little game called **“Fast Forward 5 Years.”** Right now, he’s saying all the right things: “Oh, I fully support you practicing your faith.” Lovely. But what happens when:
- Sunday morning rolls around, and he’s sleeping in while you’re getting the kids dressed for church… alone?
- Your child asks, “Mommy, which faith is the right one?” and he answers differently than you?
- A major life decision comes up, and your moral compass points one way while his points another?
Do you see where this is going? Because I do. **Right now, faith isn’t a problem for him because it doesn’t affect him.** But marriage ties your lives together in ways you haven’t even considered yet.
Marriage Is Hard Enough Without Stacking the Deck Against Yourself
Even the strongest marriages face challenges. And one of the most **binding, unifying** things a couple can share is **a deep faith in the same God, the same values, the same spiritual foundation** to carry them through.
Now, let’s say you go ahead with this marriage, and ten years down the road, you finally **start digging deeper into your faith**. Maybe you decide you want to be more involved in your church, or you start praying more, or you realize you want a husband who can **lead your family spiritually.**
Well, sweetheart, you’ve already set yourself up for a battle. Because you’re going to look at your husband, and he is still going to be the same person he was when you married him—except now, you want more, and he’s not on that path with you.
Your Parents Aren’t Trying to Ruin Your Happiness—They’re Trying to Protect It
You might think your parents are being dramatic, but they’re actually **showing you love in the best way they know how**—by warning you before you step into something you don’t fully understand yet.
They’ve seen life. They’ve seen what happens when people go against God’s design, thinking they’ll be the exception to the rule. And they know what you don’t: this decision is bigger than just “love.” It’s about your future, your family, and your faith.
Miss Edna’s Final Word
Sweetheart, you’ve got some praying to do. **Not for God to change your parents’ minds, but for Him to give you wisdom.** Because right now, you’re seeing this relationship through the lens of feelings, not faith.
Go back to Scripture. Ask yourself the hard questions. And most of all, **make sure you’re making a decision that’s rooted in God’s Word, not just in romance.**
Because love is beautiful. But **a God-centered marriage?** That’s unshakable.
–— Miss Edna