Why Do Some Folks Have the Nerve but Not the Brains?
Miss Edna’s Rant
Listen, sugarplum, I’m at my wit’s end, and I have a whole lot of wit to lose. We are living in an age where people have the audacity of a cat knocking your coffee off the table—but not a lick of self-awareness to back it up. And I, for one, am tired.
You know the type. The ones who show up late to work every day, take a two-hour lunch, ‘forget’ deadlines, and then get personally offended when they aren’t promoted. The ones who cancel plans five minutes before showing up but expect you to drop everything for them. The ones who stand in the middle of the grocery aisle, staring at their phones, oblivious to the fact that the rest of us have places to be and ice cream melting in our carts.
I have a theory. Self-awareness must be an optional software update, and half the population just hit ‘remind me later’ every time it popped up.
And speaking of phones, let’s talk about the Phone Hypocrites.
These are the folks who rant about how “nobody talks to each other anymore because everyone’s always on their phones”—as they post that complaint from their phone.
Oh, I’m sorry, Karen, did you want a standing ovation for yelling about screen addiction while staring at your own screen? Or were you too busy scrolling to realize you’ve had the same conversation with your family five times this week—while you were on Facebook complaining about how “people don’t listen anymore”?
Then there’s the Gossip Anti-Gossipers.
You know the ones. They lean in real close and whisper, “I just can’t stand people who gossip.” And then what do they do? Unload every rumor, family scandal, and neighborhood drama they’ve collected over the past decade—because, “I’m just telling you so you can pray about it.”
Uh-huh. Sure, Jan.
If irony burned calories, these people could live off cheeseburgers and never gain a pound.
And don’t think I’ve forgotten the Sunday Saints, Monday Menaces.
You know them. Faithful as can be during church service, raising their hands in worship—then raising a beer by the afternoon. Singing hymns with pure hearts in the morning, then cussing out their neighbor over a property line dispute by dinner.
It’s almost impressive how fast some folks can switch between “God is good!” and “I swear, if you don’t move your truck…”
But don’t worry, I’m saving a whole separate rant just for them. Hypocrisy in the church? That’s a buffet-sized topic, and I plan to serve it hot. Stay tuned.
And while we’re on the subject of nerve without a brain, let’s not forget Social Media, the Place Where Self-Awareness Goes to Die.
It’s the magical land where people post about “cutting off toxic energy” while being the most toxic person in their own lives.
Where folks humblebrag about “staying drama-free” in between posting five paragraphs of cryptic nonsense aimed at their latest enemy.
Sweetheart, if you have to keep announcing that you’re drama-free, I hate to break it to you—but you’re the drama.
Or how about the people who post passive-aggressive ‘some people need to mind their own business’ statuses, all while telling us their entire life story every three hours?
Sweetheart, I wouldn’t know your business if you weren’t live-streaming it like a news anchor.
And let’s not ignore the “I’m just brutally honest” crowd.
No, darling, you’re not honest, you’re just rude, and nobody’s impressed.
If honesty were your actual goal, you’d be telling yourself to stop being so exhausting.
Final Thoughts
Here’s a thought—if you keep losing friends, keep getting fired, or keep wondering why people don’t respond to your texts, the problem isn’t ‘everybody else.’
The common denominator in all those scenarios is YOU.
Self-awareness is free, my darlings. Take some.
I beg you.
For all of our sakes.